"Thank You for Everything, You Awesome Reptile."

Dear Dreamworks Animation,

How to Train Your Dragon is awesome. ...You are somewhat forgiven for Shrek the Fourth.

Not Another Failure to Lose a Girlfriend's Past

I love this because I have been bitching about it for the last month.

Come on now. Could that be any fuglier?

Not that it's going to stop me from watching the movie...but I digress.

The worldwide outrage (ok, just maybe me and 3 others) has descended upon this one-sheet! And this guy's the most vocal:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/matthew-mcconaugheys-next-10-movies/

My personal three favs:


The tag on "A Family Affair" kills me.

Damn It Feels Good to be a Gangster

Well, it was fun living in the Best of Both Worlds. I shall desperately miss you.

On the bright side, it's nice to get some sort of record back. Watch your back WB...

"Congratulations!" (Stay till 10.)

Walk It Out

Sometimes I'm wrong.

And sometimes I'm really wrong.

I've always resisted watching "A Walk to Remember" because everyone told me it was a bible thumper story. So despite my love for Mandy, I've avoided it like the black plague.

But wow, maybe I've just gone soft but I'm all over this movie. It stuck it's hand in my chest and squeezed the crap out of my heart...and tear ducts.

I could not be more bitter to not get Nicolas Spark's next movie (which has Miley in it!!!). Mother. Effin'. Coffeemaker.

WHAT WILL SHE CHOOSE?

"It's a girl!"

AMA-ZA-ZING!

This thing is insane. Look at how fancy kids have made pirating music!

The Mummy (Director) Returns!

This just became my 2nd most anticipated movie of the summer (HP rules.). Channing + Mummy = AWESOME.

'GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra' SuperBowl Commercial
by trentisthenewpink

Biggest Tease EVER.

GENIUS.

Too bad it's fake.

Wow, this is a hugeeeeeeeeee tease. This would have been brilliant casting.

GET ON IT, WB!

The Day is Darkest Just Before the Dawn...

I re-watched "The Dark Knight" in IMAX today and damn, it was even better the second time around. As much as I really don't want it to come close to Titanic's record, that is some brilliant film making right there. And for about 2.5 hours, I actually didn't feel unsettled for once.

Gahhh, I feel like I'm experiencing some quarter life crisis. I just feel antsy all the time and my brain never really wants to shut off. I find less pleasure in things I used to love, like loafing, TV, and even movies. I think I really need to just get on a plane...to anywhere. I'm contemplating just dart boarding it.

I know. I'm a total crazy workaholic. I need help.

Obi-wan?

Make One, Entertain a Million

Movies like Wanted reaffirm my love of cinema.

Although a little silly (ok, a lot silly), it's is just a really fun and awesome ride that totally hooked me from beginning to end. You will have to suspend your disbelief for this one (it's reminiscent of a campier version of the Matrix - except the plot actually makes sense.); bullets bend, people fly, cars fly, trains fly (seeing a pattern...) all done courtesy of some kick ass CGI.

I have to say, as much as I sometimes loathe them (I still don't trust them enough to online bank...), computers effin' rule. At the very least, they allow movies like Wanted to be made in this day and age, something that I'm not sure would have been possible 15 years ago. Because of them, there truly is no limit to the imagination and the world (of cinema, at least) is a better place for it.

Watching Wanted made me feel the way I felt when I saw 300 last year...just so happy that such creative people still exist in this business.

Summer fun has finally begun.

Note: Not sure if the backbend Angelina does on the train is CGI or not. Regardless, she is a Goddess.

A Midsummer's Night's Movie Roundup

It's almost the half-point mark in summer and since I watched quite a few flicks this weekend I figure I should do a little midsummer review post.

Let's start at the beginning:

Iron Man - I remain firm in that Spider-man is the best superhero movie ever made, but Iron Man was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. I was a HUGE skeptic of Robert Downey Jr., but I have to say, he pulled it off. I really dug the first half with the origin story, but the end was kind of whatever. I guess I like my giant fighting robots to be Transformers...and include Shia La Beouf.

What Happens in Vegas - Awesome advertising for another so-so romantic comedy. The War of the Roses aspect was fun, but it got really drippy towards the end.

Sex and the City - Great denouement to a much missed series. Although at 2.5 hours, it definitely got a lil' taxing.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Maybe I went in with much lowered expectations since everyone trashed on this to me, but I really liked it. I mean the whole sci-fi aspect wasn't really my thing either, but honestly, who the hell knows what happened with the Lost Ark in the first installment? A bunch of random souls come out of a box and kill all the bad guys because they looked into its eyes? Anyhow, just suspend your disbelief and enjoy the ride that is Indy, no matter how tired or haggard, H. Ford may be looking.

Kung Fu Panda - Loved it!! It's cute, funny, touching and beautifully animated. The praying mantis rules!

The Hulk - After being let down by the first Hulk installment, I have to say that this one is much improved. There are some really great action sequences, and they FINALLY address the age old question of his stretchy pants.

The Happening - This movie leaves me with an ambiguous feeling. I don't hate it like the critics, but I guess I'm more annoyed that he messed up a movie that had potential for greatness. I appreciate the fine nuances and isolated storyline, but the characters were so underdeveloped and to be quite honest, just plain bizarre, that it was hard to get into it. What a waste, since I'm finding myself to be a really big Zooey Deschanel fan.

Flicks I still want to see:

Prince Caspian
Get Smart
WALL-E
Wanted
The Dark Knight
Mamma Mia
Hellboy 2
The Mummy 3
Tropic Thunder

Note: Although I left them off my list in order to be impartial, everyone should go watch Hancock, Step Brothers, and Pineapple Express.

Let Me Tell You About My New Best Friend...

I've been obsessed with Wall-E since I've layed eyes on the little bugger, so OBVIOUSLY I had to get one....or 3.

Here is just one of the Wall-E's that I bought. (he folds into a box and transforms with a push of a button!)

I also bought an R/C controlled Wall-E that is 9 inches tall, makes a ton of noise, and roams the halls. I brought that one to work and totally got bitched out for playing with it. So worth it though.

Note: The third Wall-E I bought are action figures of him and Eve courting during the movie. I will also probably get a Wall-E plush if they have it because the plastic one really chafes my ass.

Harder, Better, Faster...Smarter?

For some reason, the Get Smart ads crack me up. I know the whole idea of the suave, albeit, screw-up of a spy is nothing new, but Steve Carrell is really the pinnacle when it comes to confident stupidity. Hopefully it doesn't blow as I haven't been wowed by any of the summer movies so far.




Note: When did Anne Hathaway become so hot?

This is the Business We Have Chosen.

The Godfather never ceases to amaze me with endless wisdom.

Add Insult to Injury.

So last week I found out that my former intern was going to be working on G.I. Joe. Appropriately, I was super jealous.

Then today I see this:

That biyatch got to meet Channing Tatum during this shoot. Just kill me now.

G.I. Drool

This is more than a year away but these two shots totally rev me up for next year's G.I. Joe. Those are some sickly sleek outfits!

Third time is usually a charm so I think the next reveal should be a naked Duke pic.

Note: P2 is on my Netflix list. I love pain.

I Am Her Spirit.

Wild posting for "The Spirit" began appearing this week and it looks like Frank Miller is going 3/3. I dug "Sin City," LOVED "300," and am pretty hot over what I am seeing so far on "The Spirit."

That metaphysical poetic crap. Gets me everytime.

Note: Questionable Sam Jackson casting, but Gabriel Macht is a total hottie.

If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them!

I shall now go on to shamefully promote another studio's fine marketing campaign.

If you live in the LA area, chances are you have seen on average of about five Forgetting Sarah Marshall ads scattered around the city. These posters consist of nothing more than mock handwriting, which features scrawled out nasty notes from a jilted ex-lover to his TV star girlfriend. They are simple, stark, and oh so awesome.

In fact, if you knew nothing of the movie, you would think these ads were real except for that fact that buying one of these enormous billboards would cost you an arm, leg, and all your vital organs. The little easter egg of it all though, is the blog URL located at the bottom of each poster.

www.ihatesarahmarshall.com

Here, Jason Segel's character, Peter, has a whole blog devoted to his relationship with "Sarah." The early posts feature him madly in love with her and tracks their relationship as it crumbles into a pile of shiite. Even though it's fake, it's freaking hysterical reading his descent into pure depression.

The blog is just one of the many faux websites they have set up to promote the movie. The others I found are:

http://www.flickr.com/groups/ihatesarahmarshallgraffiti/pool/
http://sarahmarshallfan.com/
http://www.nbc.com/Crime_Scene/
http://www.myspace.com/officialinfantsorrow

The legit NBC.com one is particularly hilarious in my opinion. You've got to love synergy at work.

Anyways, when I first heard about the movie I was massively like "Ick," but now I can't wait to see them damn thing. Damn you, Universal. Well played.

I Love Pr0n.

Ok, so I was wrong.


There IS such as thing as porn for girls. And it is called, Never Back Down.

A while back I was telling my guy friends that all pornography is pretty much made for men. Think about this. Guy/girl porn - men, girl/girl porn - men, guy/guy porn - STILL men. Sure, there are some girls that watch some of those, but ultimately, they are made purely for guys.

Never Back Down, however, exists entirely for the girls. There is nothing sexier than two smoking hot guys going at it. I mean sudden death MMA fighting of course, not sword fighting...

Note: Anna needs to make way for my other Faris love right now.

Good grief.

Rock Me Amadeus

Ratatouille is one of the best movies of 2007 in my opinion. Sure, it was fun and cute, but at the very end also instilled a great comment on society. Man, I love this movie.

In many ways the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and theirselves to our judgement. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and easy to read.

But, the bitter truth we critics must face is that, in the grand scheme of things...the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times when a critic truly risks something...and that is the discovery and defense of the new.

The world is often unkind to the new talent, new creations. The new needs friends.

Last night I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from an singularly unexpected source. To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about the fine cooking, is a gross understatement -- they have rocked me to my core.

In the past I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: "Anyone Can Cook". But I realize only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.

It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, nothing less than the finest Chef in France.