I Live to Serve...

Plus it was your fault...

Ummmmm, best thing ever.

Trailer Trash: New in Town

I'm Just Sayin'...

Starts at 1:21.  Yeah, that's right.

Never Trust a Ho.

This may be the best video ever.



I love this effin' song!

Biggest Tease EVER.

GENIUS.

Too bad it's fake.

Wow, this is a hugeeeeeeeeee tease. This would have been brilliant casting.

GET ON IT, WB!

So Bittersweet...

Wow, it's been forever and a day since I posted.

I guess my last post doesn't actually count as being legit either since it was just a "HAH!" in-your-face regarding the fact that I totally called out the awesomeness of Katy Perry's "Hot N' Cold" four months ago (*congratulatory self pat-on-the-back*).

Man, I so loved that song and now it's all over the effin' radio and the source of some turmoil in my work life as well. I wanted to dislike it for all of those reasons but then I saw the music video and damn, it's just too good.



I doubt lightening will strike twice, but my new obsession is Lenka, whose album I have now listened to probably over 10 times in the last 2 weeks. She's way more indie than Katy (and also lacks the endorsement of Madonna), but man do I love her cute-yet-croony sound.

Whoever said that pop music isn't original is a big fat liar. When a song works, it just works, and no matter how hard you try to find a decent substitute or similar sound, it's just not the same. Just trust me on this.

On another note, I can't believe that 2008 is almost over. I so failed all of my half-year resolutions and am more scattered than ever probably, but have been indulging so much that I failed to notice any of this. Ignorance is temporary bliss.

As someone who is usually adverse to change, I'm actually excited for 2009.

Let's end this with a bang.

Let Me State, For the Record...

http://humansecret.blogspot.com/2008/06/pop-rocks.html

I TOLD YOU SO.

The Day is Darkest Just Before the Dawn...

I re-watched "The Dark Knight" in IMAX today and damn, it was even better the second time around. As much as I really don't want it to come close to Titanic's record, that is some brilliant film making right there. And for about 2.5 hours, I actually didn't feel unsettled for once.

Gahhh, I feel like I'm experiencing some quarter life crisis. I just feel antsy all the time and my brain never really wants to shut off. I find less pleasure in things I used to love, like loafing, TV, and even movies. I think I really need to just get on a plane...to anywhere. I'm contemplating just dart boarding it.

I know. I'm a total crazy workaholic. I need help.

Obi-wan?

It's Not the Triumph, but the Struggle.

Wow, I haven't blogged in forever and a day.

Simply put, I haven't had the time nor motivation to really do so. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks, with some insane ups and downs, lefts and rights, and honestly, backwards and forwards. I'm tired, amped, and a lil' bit crazy running on fumes, adrenaline, and pure psychosis. "I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew!"

The Olympics started today and after watching the opening ceremony intro, I'm beyond pumped. These guys are the real deal. Their entire existence is based purely on mere seconds for a chance at glory, hence that kick ass quote up top. There's some real food for thought: Everyone works for the juice, but maybe all we can really do is enjoy the squeeze?

And damn, does it taste sweet.

Presto!

SO EFFIN' CUTE!

You Cut Me Open and I...

Ahhhhh, SYTYCD is one of the reasons I'm always dead tired during the week over summer. After a whirlwind 48 hours (I don't even think I dare to post about this one...), what I really should have done when I went home is burn my clothing, take a shower and crawl into bed. Instead, I proceeded to watch SYTYCD until 2AM. Tonight will be no better since I'm going to a midnight showing of WALL-E and there is the results show I will probably end up watching too. A little tip, if you looking for me I'm the one with Jon Voight sized bags under my eyes.

But, it was so worth it. There were some really really awesome dances this week. Two consisted of hip-hop and two involved half a dress. Greatest show ever.

Standouts:

Chelsie H - She brought it this week. She's the poo, so take a whiff.
Joshua - I can't believe this guy's speciality is poppin'! I may also just be in love with the fact that he still has braces.
Kherington - Hit it harder than Twitch!
Will - I was kind of put off by Will because the judges pratically fellatiated him on stage before, but he was really sharp at the disco. Too bad Jessica blows.
Half Dresses - Pretty soon it's just gonna be boobie tassles and a thong.



I'm glad Nigel called out jacking Tabitha and Napoleon from ABDC. SYTYCD is like 27246234623462346776856 better.

Make One, Entertain a Million

Movies like Wanted reaffirm my love of cinema.

Although a little silly (ok, a lot silly), it's is just a really fun and awesome ride that totally hooked me from beginning to end. You will have to suspend your disbelief for this one (it's reminiscent of a campier version of the Matrix - except the plot actually makes sense.); bullets bend, people fly, cars fly, trains fly (seeing a pattern...) all done courtesy of some kick ass CGI.

I have to say, as much as I sometimes loathe them (I still don't trust them enough to online bank...), computers effin' rule. At the very least, they allow movies like Wanted to be made in this day and age, something that I'm not sure would have been possible 15 years ago. Because of them, there truly is no limit to the imagination and the world (of cinema, at least) is a better place for it.

Watching Wanted made me feel the way I felt when I saw 300 last year...just so happy that such creative people still exist in this business.

Summer fun has finally begun.

Note: Not sure if the backbend Angelina does on the train is CGI or not. Regardless, she is a Goddess.

Pop Rocks

My favorite song right now is "Hot N' Cold" by Katy Perry.

I totally dig her debut album "One of the Boys" right now. Following the paved road of Lily Allen, she is pop and rock personified, but with the slight edge of Amy Winehouse (try listening to "I Kissed a Girl" and "Ur So Gay").

She also steals Allen's style and prances around in absurd and retro glamour girl outfits. Move over Ashlee and Avril...



Note: Is it just me of is she a dead ringer for Robin Tunney?

Syndicated!

Happy 100th post!

I was thinking of what could be special enough to blog about as a topic for my 100th post, and I've decided to just blog about my 100th post.

8 months and still going. I am as surprised as you are.

Finger Lickin' Good

So yesterday I finally wrangled enough people together to go with me and eat Ethiopian food. I have to say, it was pretty tasty. It reminded me a lot of indian food which I loveeee, but even more authentic as you are forced to eat it with your hands. Literally, no utensils or plates. Just one giant platter where they put all of your food on and a plate of some injera (sour spongy bread, which is supposedly very crumpet like according to one of my friends). The whole place smelled like incense, was covered in crazy paintings and decorations, and attached to a market next door. Said friend proceeded to buy some crazy old chocolate bar that we had never heard of. I, myself, resisted from buying a shady bag labeled "hops" in hopes of starting my own brewery.

After Ethiopian we stopped by MILK. MILK is probably my favorite dessert place other than Yogurtland. I had me the usual blue velvet cake, ice cream, and a few cookies too. They have THE best cookies. I'm a little obsessed with now trying to find a recipe to replicate them.

The OD of sugar before bed was a horrible idea. I woke up feeling like shiite and honestly felt like I've been on a glucose crash all day. Luckily it was a slow day, but I'm struggling to get through it.

I think I shall try to go home and chef it tonight.

A Midsummer's Night's Movie Roundup

It's almost the half-point mark in summer and since I watched quite a few flicks this weekend I figure I should do a little midsummer review post.

Let's start at the beginning:

Iron Man - I remain firm in that Spider-man is the best superhero movie ever made, but Iron Man was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. I was a HUGE skeptic of Robert Downey Jr., but I have to say, he pulled it off. I really dug the first half with the origin story, but the end was kind of whatever. I guess I like my giant fighting robots to be Transformers...and include Shia La Beouf.

What Happens in Vegas - Awesome advertising for another so-so romantic comedy. The War of the Roses aspect was fun, but it got really drippy towards the end.

Sex and the City - Great denouement to a much missed series. Although at 2.5 hours, it definitely got a lil' taxing.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Maybe I went in with much lowered expectations since everyone trashed on this to me, but I really liked it. I mean the whole sci-fi aspect wasn't really my thing either, but honestly, who the hell knows what happened with the Lost Ark in the first installment? A bunch of random souls come out of a box and kill all the bad guys because they looked into its eyes? Anyhow, just suspend your disbelief and enjoy the ride that is Indy, no matter how tired or haggard, H. Ford may be looking.

Kung Fu Panda - Loved it!! It's cute, funny, touching and beautifully animated. The praying mantis rules!

The Hulk - After being let down by the first Hulk installment, I have to say that this one is much improved. There are some really great action sequences, and they FINALLY address the age old question of his stretchy pants.

The Happening - This movie leaves me with an ambiguous feeling. I don't hate it like the critics, but I guess I'm more annoyed that he messed up a movie that had potential for greatness. I appreciate the fine nuances and isolated storyline, but the characters were so underdeveloped and to be quite honest, just plain bizarre, that it was hard to get into it. What a waste, since I'm finding myself to be a really big Zooey Deschanel fan.

Flicks I still want to see:

Prince Caspian
Get Smart
WALL-E
Wanted
The Dark Knight
Mamma Mia
Hellboy 2
The Mummy 3
Tropic Thunder

Note: Although I left them off my list in order to be impartial, everyone should go watch Hancock, Step Brothers, and Pineapple Express.

Grand Slam Victory!

Stephanie won Top Chef!!!

...which means that I win (my private competition) the reality grand slam! Four out of four baby!

I am most proud of this one because I picked Steph from Episode 2 of the season. Even though I technically chose Whitney before ANTM even aired, I mainly picked her because I knew Tyra wanted to demonstrate affirmative action and pick a plus size model to eventually win. But with Steph, it was all blind faith and determination. She rules!

Yayyyyyyyy!

Note: Cooked twice this week, and gotta say, totally enjoying it.

Girl Power!

I've been in a reflective mood lately and I guess that's transcended to my music because I've been listening to a bunch of mopey chick music.

Currently:

Kate Voegele
Missy Higgins
Tristan Prettyman
Priscilla Ahn
Duffy
Katy Perry
Alanis Morrisette
Aimee Mann
Charlotte Sometimes
Kate Nash

I don't know why I'm so into this lyrical stuff right now. I think it's mostly because I see it used on TV so well.



Every so often I get annoyed at Grey's, but then they pull something like that and it just gets to me.

Note: I highly rec'd the entire albums of Priscilla Ahn, Katy Perry, and Charlotte Sometimes. Soooo good.

No Air, No Air

This song was so overplayed that I pretty much died a little everytime I heard it. But, last night SYTYCD brought it back to life for me.



I agree with Nigel that it was the best dance of last night's show. I wasn't a Katee fan before (mostly over her Debbie Downerness right before the finalists were chosen) but damn!, girl's got moves. If she showed a little more personality and a little less tears, she could go pretty far.

Favorites (now including last night's performances):

- Courtney G. ~ I'm still a fan; she just looks really good dancing. I thought she was pretty good at the disco, and Gev dragged her down a bit.
- Thayne ~ Love, love, love him in the cha cha he did with Chelsea! They were douches and overlooked him IMO.
- Kherington ~ killed it, despite shedding feathers like a mofo.
- Twitch ~ killed it, despite having feathers shed in his face like a mofo.
- Katee ~ The slides she did in the beg. of the dance were reminiscent of Allison. Smooooth.
- Kourtni ~ Her theatrics were the best IMO, a lot of the other dancers looked like they were overacting, but I thought she was really good...for a giant.

God, I love this show.

Let Me Tell You About My New Best Friend...

I've been obsessed with Wall-E since I've layed eyes on the little bugger, so OBVIOUSLY I had to get one....or 3.

Here is just one of the Wall-E's that I bought. (he folds into a box and transforms with a push of a button!)

I also bought an R/C controlled Wall-E that is 9 inches tall, makes a ton of noise, and roams the halls. I brought that one to work and totally got bitched out for playing with it. So worth it though.

Note: The third Wall-E I bought are action figures of him and Eve courting during the movie. I will also probably get a Wall-E plush if they have it because the plastic one really chafes my ass.

What a Feeling!

Despite it being 12AM when I started watching, I could not but help finish both hours of SYTYCD last night. Although some people I wanted didn't make the cut (HSM girl and tantrum thrower Jeremiah Bullfrog), the majority of my favorites did!

Behold, the top 20:

Top 20 contestants. Pictured top row L-R: Twitch, William, Jessica, Kourtni L., Joshua, Jamie and Courtney G. Second row L-R: Kherington, Rayven, Chelsea T., Chris, Katee, Thayne, Comfort, Susie, Marquis, Chelsie H. and Mark. Bottom row L-R: Matt and Gev.

Early favs: Courtney G.! Kourtni, Mark, Chelsea H., Twitch, and Kherington.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

Thar She Blows!

The "she" would be me.

I've been suffering from what I thought was a hangover, to what I thought was food poisoning, to what I'm pretty sure of is the stomach flu.

I thought I had the stomach flu before, but honestly I've never come across anything like this. I'm finally on the road to recovery which is why I can even blog again, but for a few days I wanted the sweet release of death. Constant nausea and intense malaise, and the added bonus of everyone telling you, you look like shi*. Not to mention the actual blowing part...

I'm sure my forcing down of Yogurtland twice over that period of time did not help matters either. But honestly, so worth the pain.

Trailer Trash: He's Just Not That Into You

I was really stoked when I first heard about this movie just based on the title alone. THEN I heard about the legion of stars that signed on (Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Bradley Cooper, Justin Long, Ginnefer Goodwin) and I was even more excited. Soooooo, I decided to try reading the book, and after about 10 pages I dumped it. It had a bunch of inane chapters like "He's Just Not that Into You If He's Cheating On You." I mean...really? You mean if he's boning some other chick on the side he might not be totally in love with me? LAME.

Anyway, the trailer isn't that impressive either, BUT they did end with a Cure song and since I am going to their concert this weekend, that gives them some bonus points. FRIDAY!!!

"Sex? Yes Please!"

What started out as an effort to make my co-worker feel better during her crappy day, turned out making my day that much more awesome. Karma rules!



I've never been more jealous of a hand in my life.

I'm Chuck Bass.

And I love him.

BTW. Greatest. Show. Ever.

Charlotte - Like China, Minus the Raisins!

Oh Charlotte. I can't believe I actually survived the 96 hour maelstrom you thrust upon me. Much of it was self-inflicted, but honestly, there was too much you offered that I couldn't pass up. I blame your generosity.

If you are reading this, Friday, Saturday, Sunday should literally be read like Kip Pardue's Eurotrip in Rules of Attraction. Real Muthafuckinfast.

FRIDAY - 10AM landing (ready to party hardy): Brunch at Mert's (red velvet cake!), Car Bombing near the Old folks ("I swear it's chocolate milk lady"), looted the free goods at Speed Week (Meat Included! in those Microwaveable Mac n Cheese's), Go-gurt, Go-gurt, and Fizzy Go-gurt for miles, Eric McClure totally gave me a paper cut, double fisting slap-on Koozies!, $4 Mojitos and $7 Triple Shots, Walmart, ABC (it was like heaven on earth), Walmart, attempting the art of shot-gunning a beer, Andrea wins, Power Half-Hour (tasting the world), on to Mac's!, Tall Boys for $3, Meat is tasty tasty murder, jesus even the greens beans have meat and cheese in it, artieries closing, re-opening for sangria at Arpa!, more food, dessert I think, oh wait, someone ordered some pungent cheese, god damn it, my team is 30 points behind, ooo Kellie Pickler!!, annnnnnnnnd someone else will need to fill you in on the rest.

SATURDAY - 11AM (fighting through the pain), feels like I've been punched in the face, breakfast of free Cheerios and Orange Patron Liqueur, wow, definitely not meant to be drunk straight up, but the orange slice chaser was the tastiest thing ever, lunch at the Cajun Queen (just kidding, totally closed), Jackalope Jack's it is!, "your food fell on the floor, so it'll be 2 seconds", wait, that's totally not what I ordered, 2 more seconds, there we go, tater tots should be a breakfast staple, rafting at the National Olympic training center, like Knott's Berry Farm x 10, the bitch in front of me sucks assssssss and needs to shut her mouth, chillin' in lawn chairs overlooking the course with a Bud and Doritos (minus annoying seagulls), back to Ando's, showers, shots, shots, no more showers though, more friends!, who like to party!, Sunkist + Captain Morgan's = a tasty Creamsicle!, damn, Flaming Dr. Peppers are so delicious AND scary, because sushi is such good idea whilst drinking...sake, sake, and sake bombs (pounding it like "Hiroshima!" according to Rich), imbibing our waiter Brian, asking him out, totally had no clue we went to Buckhead Saloon, I am proven to be the worst fake ID'er EVER, long islands?, Jager bombs?, beers?, who in the hell is John Bolton and why does he not have any alcohol, the Hansel and Gretel Trail of Grapes leading back to floor 35, barefooting it through the halls, YouTube dance party, playing cupid, and passing the EFF OUT.

SUNDAY - 10AM (kill me now), punched in the face, and the stomach, creamy spinach and Tostitos salsa ought to fix that right up, take two on the Cajun Queen, spicy...this doesn't seem like such a good idea, it wasn't, dun dun dun, Rich bites the dust, cabbing it to the race, let me out!, Gumbo looks like gumbo on the way out, this mini-van is TOTALLY going to hate me, the world's biggest frat party, "raise your ti*s if you like ti*s!!", a 12 year old throwing up in the trash can, 3 waters....and a Miller (gotta love Ando), best seats in the world! effin' made money on this!, Lap 40... 80 zzzzzzzzz, walk it out, older gentleman and his drunken daughter...wait, that's SOOOOO not his daughter (or maybe it is), Jumbo grilled turkey leg, coffees, cheese turds, Bojangles!, 2 more Millers (Ando is my hero!) , back to the race, sweeeeeeeeeeet, a crash!, sweeeeeeeet, another crash, car on fire!, 600 miles is a lonnnnnnng time, lap 398...OUCH! bad beat, Tony Stewart gets robbed, make way through the swarm of people, just in time for late night dinner at Liberty Bell, wow, did I really not drink at Nascar? There's always Daytona...

MONDAY - By Monday, everything was chill, I think most of the alcohol had finally left the system and I had to catch a 5:00PM flight anyway. Grabbed some lunch at Penguins (heart attack!), which was featured on Food Network and took my 10 hour journey back.

As usual, I had a freaking blast. I'm probably going to spiral into depression though since I don't have another trip planned in sight which is slightly uncanny for me. I guess I can't really go anywhere since I managed to lose my passport along the way...

...I did get my license back though, so my days of going out aren't totally shot. Flirting with disaster.

Harder, Better, Faster...Smarter?

For some reason, the Get Smart ads crack me up. I know the whole idea of the suave, albeit, screw-up of a spy is nothing new, but Steve Carrell is really the pinnacle when it comes to confident stupidity. Hopefully it doesn't blow as I haven't been wowed by any of the summer movies so far.




Note: When did Anne Hathaway become so hot?

To Victory!

Here I am, stuck at work with just my boss at almost 9:00PM on a Monday night, and I couldn't be happier. The San Antonio Spurs just won Game 7 against the New Orleans Hornets, a feat that many thought they couldn't achieve. To be honest, I was one of them. Those effin' insects were a younger and maybe hungrier team, and they had a stellar home record. But they did it! My boys turned it out and we live to see another game!

The next series should be really interesting. I may lose a few years off of my life in the process so I'm not sure how many games I will actually be watching (a heart attack dangles on the horizon). The Lakers are a tough team and it is very likely that my boys may fall prey to their evil. Game on.

GIVE THEM NOTHING. BUT TAKE FROM THEM, EVERYTHING.

"Plus" 3 for Me!

Sorry for the "plus" pun but I couldn't resist, especially since I have been so awesome at this reality TV decoding of late.


Finally! Finally, I chose an ANTM winner correct! It only took me 10 cycles to perfect this art form, but I did it! Whitney won ANTM last week and she is the 3rd correct prediction I made, following Survivor and BATG. Granted, on Survivor I had to switch my pick at the half way mark (after Ozzy got the boot), but I still picked Pav to take it home despite 10 other folks trying to cloud my judgment. BATG was kind of given, but hey, I'll take these small victories.

This just leaves Stephanie from Top Chef to complete my reality grand slam victory. Go Stephanie go!

Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

Get away from me Mr. Sandman!

He's been on my ass all day and I cannot for the life of me, shake him. I'm stuck in a perpetual stupor today, despite having a ridiculous amount of caffeine (3 cups of tea, and a large coffee). It's a miracle I'm not shaking like a salt shaker, instead I'm fighting the urge to just close my eyelids for a sweet second, really hard.

Maybe it's because I did not get to sleep in at all this weekend. On Saturday I woke up to get my car washed, prior to having brunch, and hauling ass to my haircut. Then I did the usual goofing around until 4am on a Saturday night.

Five hours later I met up with some people to find the elusive CA waterfall. On our travels, I ate shit on some unsteady dirt and basically scraped a 1/4 of my calf off. Since we had no first aid kit, I took Amanda's sage wisdom from She's the Man and rubbed some dirt in it. Then I caught a double feature before retiring around 1AM.

And now I'm a dead body.

Note: The Junk Punch revenge scheme is one of the funniest things I've ever heard of.

I Know Your Secret, Shel Wei!

So I had my second "celebrity" encounter this week at the local Starbucks today, a half block from my house.

I walk in at 7:30AM to pick up my Pike Roast and I see this tiny asian girl who looks awfully familiar. After I gawk for a few more seconds, it comes to me. It's Anna Wu from Chuck!

I think she noticed that I was staring because after we made brief eye contact, she turned to the guy she was talking to and kind of slumped into her chair and brought her hand to her face. Ok, honestly, was that REALLY necessary. It's not like I was going to be like "OMFG, YOU ARE ANNA FROM CHUCK! LET ME KISS THY GROUND YOU WALK ON!" Anyway, it was more puzzling that she was in my hood (I mean she might have gone to my HS for all I know, we all look alike), so I decided to Yahoo-stalk her once I got into work.

Well, Julia Ling is actually Shel Wei. And according to sources online she went to Temple City High School. She is actually my age and for all I know I could have played tennis against her at some point while we were in season. She also went to UCLA (an engineering major).

That is where our similarities end because she is now on TV making a buttload of money. She also got to meet Sarah Michelle Gellar while doing a guest stint on Buffy. Essentially, she crushes me.

BUT, I still wouldn't kiss the ground she walks on.

The Cracks in Our Foundation

Since, I believe in educating the masses, I will let you in on a little secret:

Sake + Tequila + Vodka + Whiskey do not mix.

I found this out the hard way at a Kate Nash concert last night. Yes, Kate Nash.

I would like to tell you how good she was in concert, but honestly, I don't really remember. Nor do I remember unloading all over the table at Denny's afterwards. Or losing my driver's license.

Just another Wednesday.

Note: Katsuya is so LA it is ridiculous. Paparazzi outside and all. Dave Navarro sat right next to us. Awesome.

Let's Make Lots of $

What's going on? Usually the people that I want to win in reality shows get axed right away. But lo and behold, Tommy and Amanda won Beauty and the Geek last night, right after Parvati took the Survivor crown.

I guess it was no surprise that Tommy might win since he was a faux geek anyway. I hope the streak continues and Whitney brings it home tonight!

Stir the Pot! Stir the Pot!

Whoo hoo!



Someone that I actually wanted to win, finally WON Survivor!


It could have actually gone either way, since I liked Amanda too and really wanted her to win last season, but she always seems to self-destruct during the final jury interrogration. Once again, people found her out pour of emotions to be fake and gave the win to Parvati. At least Tootie's cousin didn't win...


Parvati played a risky and really smart game (in hindsight), although I ultimately think she won because the jury just didn't like Amanda's crocodile tears. People are super bitchy and take the game way too seriously; and ultimately, no one rewards the person who actually deserves it, they usually just give it to the one they hated less (for whatever reason). Totally unpredictable and frustrating, but so freaking fascinating.


This is my 15th season watching Survivor (I missed Africa, probably the only other season where the winner wouldn't have incensed me.) and I still get totally into it. I'm sure there's not a snowballs chance in hell that I will ever get on the show, but damn it, I'm mailing an app this season.


I think Parvati won me over with her whole black window and witch's brew analogies. The "stir the pot" shit was hysterical. Congrats!


P.S. Go Whitney Go!

Sweating (Out) the Small Stuff

I did the Revlon Run/Walk for Women's cancer over the past weekend, and as much as I was dreading it (waking up early on a weekend, rainy weather, no effing parking), I have to say I felt spiritually rewarded during the whole experience.

It wasn't really the sheer volume of the event, although I was shocked at how many people there actually were, but it was more the interpersonal connection of seeing these people with various names attached to their backs of those that they were walking for who have or had cancer.

It was a good empathetic experience for me I guess, since I easily get wrapped up in my daily existence and freak out about the littlest things. It made me realize that, honestly, in the grand scheme of things, nothing really matters if you don't have your health (or more importantly, if my friends and family don't).

Eat your heart out Deepak Chopra.

This is the Business We Have Chosen.

The Godfather never ceases to amaze me with endless wisdom.

Add Insult to Injury.

So last week I found out that my former intern was going to be working on G.I. Joe. Appropriately, I was super jealous.

Then today I see this:

That biyatch got to meet Channing Tatum during this shoot. Just kill me now.

It's Good to be ALIVE.

My current state is reminiscent of Fall 2000. I have to say, this song is a step up in morbidity from "It's Over Now" by Neve or "Deathly" by Aimee Mann. Baby steps....

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Look at me
Look at me
Hands in the air like it's good to be, ALIVE
And I'm a famous rapper
Even when the paths are all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And I'm Proud to be an American
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cause, look:

I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome

And I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone

Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be, ALIVE
In such a small world
I'm all curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers, shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance

Cause I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone

And I can split the atom of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule

Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
ALIVE and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all grilled leavin lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command

Cause I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite

And I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope

And I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars

Hot Damn.

I was sorting through my photos the other day, and I realized I never got around to posting these pictures I took in Hawaii.

This one was taken around 1AM from my hotel balcony. No tripod.


This one is taken from the plane.

I have to say, I love my camera.

(Mid) New Year's Resolutions

I'm having an annoying ass day(^10), so rather than vent and fester over matters that I have no control over, I will re-direct my efforts towards some self-improvement.

How totally zen and cathartic of me. *applause*

I never bother with New Year's Resolutions because honestly, who the hell ever keeps up with things for a year. But I'm feeling like I need a little more failure in my life so what the hell.

Goals for the rest of the year:

1. Run a mile in 10 minutes.
2. Read 10 books (20% done).
3. Write a paper longer than 10 pages.
4. Be able to "stand" on a surfboard 1% of the time.
5. Play one song on the guitar.
6. Watch "The Thing" (I've borrowed it for 2 years...)

I'm tired looking at it already.

To be or not to be...

People born today:

Jessica Stam
Daniela Hantuchova (same year!)
Jaime King
John Cena
Kal Penn
Barry Watson
Shirley Temple
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

Oh, and about a bajillion porn stars for some reason.

Feed Me Seymour!

I had a great weekend of awesome food.

Started out at the crack ass of dawn with a trip to a Greenland Korean Market to buy about 9 pounds of marinated meat. You would think 9 pounds of meat is a lot for six people, but we pretty much tore that right up. We flamed all of it on my sexy grill beast and bought a bunch of the Korean sides, chap chae, lettuce wraps, the works.

Then I got to enjoy the remains of the nail biter that was the PHX v SA game. Almost had a heart attack for about an hour, but man oh man, it was so freaking sweet in the end. I was on my knees Brandi Chastain style (well, I kept my shirt on, not my pants though). My euphoria needed to be celebrated, sooo...

...headed to Pink Taco for their 2 for 1 happy hour. Got wasted by 7PM (Sauza ain't half bad) and headed to MILK for dessert. God, I love Milk.

Then on Sunday, I finally got to try Father's Office, after a multitude of people have repeatedly been telling me to go. Sadly the one in Culver City (my backyard), opens TODAY, so we had to schlep the extra 7 miles or whatever to Santa Monica. I have to say, the food there is damn good. The drink there is even better (I love beer). We feasted on the Bleu Cheese burgers, Spanish mushrooms, regular and sweet potato fries, and lamb skewers. I'm totally psyched about the one in Culver City opening.

Speaking of food, I found many other Rachael Ray haters in the food blogging universe. One girl even found her all time favorite RR recipe for this culinary delight.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_28744,00.html

Hilarious.

G.I. Drool

This is more than a year away but these two shots totally rev me up for next year's G.I. Joe. Those are some sickly sleek outfits!

Third time is usually a charm so I think the next reveal should be a naked Duke pic.

Note: P2 is on my Netflix list. I love pain.

OMFGFFSSTFU!

Totally ballsy, and I love it.

Music to My Ears

I guess I am a sucker for the Cyrus family because I totally love "Shake It" by the Metro Station, a band which happens to be led by Miley's older brother Trace.

It's probably the cutest pop rock song since "Here" by Hellogoodbye, and with the whole shake motif is reminiscent of early Rooney as well.

This makes me happy since I've been waiting for another group like AAR to come around (since Cute is What We Aim For is taking their sweet time on another album). Hopefully the rest of their album is as consistently good.

It's been quite an awesome year of music as there have been several songs that I really love. And by love, I mean I get giddy when it comes on the radio and blast it at about 50% of full volume.

To name a few:

"Shake It" - Metro Station
"See You Again" - Miley Cyrus
"Flashing Lights" - Kanye West
"Love in this Club" - Usher
"Superstar" - Lupe Fiasco
"Take a Bow" - Rihanna
"Buzzin'" - Shwayze feat. Cisco Adler

And it's only April!

Note: Picked up Marie Digby's album at her concert at the Troubadour last night. Good stufffffffffff...

I Am Her Spirit.

Wild posting for "The Spirit" began appearing this week and it looks like Frank Miller is going 3/3. I dug "Sin City," LOVED "300," and am pretty hot over what I am seeing so far on "The Spirit."

That metaphysical poetic crap. Gets me everytime.

Note: Questionable Sam Jackson casting, but Gabriel Macht is a total hottie.

Bang Bang Baby Shot Me in the Heart...

I never thought that I would listen to anything made my Cisco Adler, let alone love it. But here I am, obsessed with "Buzzin'" and his 22 year old little protege, Shwayze.

I've now listened to a couple of Shwayze's other tracks and they all pretty much kick ass. It's kind of like if Jack Johnson and Lupe Fiasco mated and created this awesome laid back West Coast style of hip-hop. All I want to do it lounge on the beach when I hear it.

The video is also so ridiculously bad that I love it.

I mean where else can you find a Colonel Angus motion in a music video...TWICE!

ANNA?!

I got to officially meet my love Anna Faris today.

In my last encounter I just got to gawk and gawk at her, but today was the full on handshake and everything. To top it all off she was so freaking nice and cool in person.

Anna Faris is really, hands down, the funniest actor/actress working in the business today. I know I'm making a pretty bold statement but I've loved her in every comedy she's been in (haven't seen Smiley Face yet, but it's at the top of my Netflix list). She just has the best comedic timing and the most perfect mannerisms, that I just can't help but crack up.

Getting to meet anyone is usually pretty cool, but getting to meet one of your idols is beyond awesome. Thanks work!

Just the tip of the iceberg of why she rules:

Baaaaa means Yes!

If you have ever seen Wallace and Gromit and the Close Shave, then you will know who Shaun the Sheep is. Basically he is the cutest effing non-robotic thing there is (gotta leave room for Wall-E), and thank god that I have become a Disney Channel fanatic because I stumbled upon his own show on TV!

Calling it a show is being generous; essentially it is only 5 minute mini-episodes featuring Shaun and other W&G look alike characters. It still is pure bliss though as it has much of Nick Park's charm and plenty of Shaun cuteness. In fact, there is even a baby Shaun Jr. complete with pacifier. Absolutely freaking adorable.

Behold, the glory of Shaun, then check him out cranking that.

If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them!

I shall now go on to shamefully promote another studio's fine marketing campaign.

If you live in the LA area, chances are you have seen on average of about five Forgetting Sarah Marshall ads scattered around the city. These posters consist of nothing more than mock handwriting, which features scrawled out nasty notes from a jilted ex-lover to his TV star girlfriend. They are simple, stark, and oh so awesome.

In fact, if you knew nothing of the movie, you would think these ads were real except for that fact that buying one of these enormous billboards would cost you an arm, leg, and all your vital organs. The little easter egg of it all though, is the blog URL located at the bottom of each poster.

www.ihatesarahmarshall.com

Here, Jason Segel's character, Peter, has a whole blog devoted to his relationship with "Sarah." The early posts feature him madly in love with her and tracks their relationship as it crumbles into a pile of shiite. Even though it's fake, it's freaking hysterical reading his descent into pure depression.

The blog is just one of the many faux websites they have set up to promote the movie. The others I found are:

http://www.flickr.com/groups/ihatesarahmarshallgraffiti/pool/
http://sarahmarshallfan.com/
http://www.nbc.com/Crime_Scene/
http://www.myspace.com/officialinfantsorrow

The legit NBC.com one is particularly hilarious in my opinion. You've got to love synergy at work.

Anyways, when I first heard about the movie I was massively like "Ick," but now I can't wait to see them damn thing. Damn you, Universal. Well played.

Disco Inferno

It's here. That good ol' Cali heat has made it's way back through the Global Warming that has plagued us (It hailed in March!).

If the weather stayed as it is now, I would be a happy camper. 80's in the day, 60's at night. Good, good stuff.

But it won't. Soon, I will be sweating in bed (without blankets) in my 90 degree room, emptying the water that my portable air conditioner leaks, praying for that Bostonian chill once more.

I Love Pr0n.

Ok, so I was wrong.


There IS such as thing as porn for girls. And it is called, Never Back Down.

A while back I was telling my guy friends that all pornography is pretty much made for men. Think about this. Guy/girl porn - men, girl/girl porn - men, guy/guy porn - STILL men. Sure, there are some girls that watch some of those, but ultimately, they are made purely for guys.

Never Back Down, however, exists entirely for the girls. There is nothing sexier than two smoking hot guys going at it. I mean sudden death MMA fighting of course, not sword fighting...

Note: Anna needs to make way for my other Faris love right now.

Good grief.

Trailer Trash: The Strangers

It's been a while since I've seen a horror trailer that I've been impressed with, but the trailer for The Strangers really gave me goosebumps.

Though it's no Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the remake) trailer, it still has some genuinely slick editing and sound design going for it. I love how quiet it is in the beginning which slowly escalates into some crazy ass dissonance in cadence with the record skip. I also LOVE the end where Liv goes "Why are you doing this to us?" and the masked killer goes "...because you were home." How coolly that line is delivered is absolutely terrifying.

I'm excited. It's been a long time since I've seen a good horror movie. I hope it doesn't go all crazy into "Last House on the Left" style or whatever (which, they are doing a remake on, bleh). I'm also glad that Liv Tyler is finally in a movie after a long 4 year hiatus post LOTR. Stop wasting your golden years woman!

The only part of the trailer that threw me off is the awful girl who does Liv's loop line at (:30). "What is that?" Sorry, you work in this biz long enough, and stuff like this just screams out in your face.



Note: I have massive hots for Kirby on Lipstick Jungle, who is a total Scott Speedman doppleganger!

Shoo Fly Shoe

So I posted that I went to a place called Bodega in Boston. Most people probably thought that it was the name of some fancy restaurant or bar. Nope.

It's way cooler.

Bodega is an underground shoe store that sells exclusive kicks. Its front is a "convienience" store that actually looks super shady (there's no name on the front, the front windows are completely covered by old ads/newspapers, and there is one lonely clerk that sits with merchandise that looks over 30 years old). If you walk over to a corner there is a Snapple machine, and if you dare to get near it, it opens to reveal an awesomely chic store loaded with exclusive kicks.

Needless to say. I had to haves me some.

Meet my Air Force 1's. 2007 edition. 20% Lime Green/50% Granite/30% Dark Cinder.

100% sex.

...The Old Man is Snoring.

Ever since I have gotten my car it hasn't been clean for more than a week. And once again, I am supposed to get my car washed (well, serviced, washing comes with part of the package) on Saturday and it is predicted to rain on Sunday.

This is actually a slight improvement as the last time this happened, I drove out of the dealership as it began to sprinkle on my car. That light mist sprinkle too, just enough to get your car wet so the dust flies around and sticks onto it.

I would put off the whole thing but honestly what's the point. If I don't get it serviced now it'll soon be April. April Showers. Which means that the same shit will just happen again as I drive around unsafely with what I feel are overused brake pads.

Le Sigh.

Trailer Trash: Wall-E

I don't know which is more disturbing, the fact that I have a crush on boy toy Zac Efron, or the fact that I would instantly kick Zac to the curb to spend one minute with Wall-E.

I love Wall-E. Love. Heart. Less than 3. However, you want to put it.

And that was before I saw the trailer.

Now I less than 4 him I guess because there is no other way to express how I feel everytime I see his sad eyes and adorable spoon hands on the screen.

Behold, my love:



<4.

BEST-ON.

I heart Boston.

I had me a 4 day love affair with the city. It's so full of history, culture, and most importantly food and drink. Sigh.

Friday: Original Cheers Bar, Fanueil Hall, Freedom Trail, Quincy Marketplace, U.S.S. Constitution, IMAX - "Deep Sea," Union Oyster House, Legal Seafoods, The Black Rose, Champions.
Weather: Overcast.

Saturday: Sam Adam's Brewery, Too much food at Quincy, the New England Aquarium, Finale Desserts, Gypsy Bar, Felt Club, Top of the Hub at the Prudential.
Weather: Heavy Rain day, Warm night!

Sunday: Bodega, The Barking Crab, Durgin Park, More food at Quincy Market, Chicago Uno.
Weather: Gorgeous. 50s.

Monday: Harvard University, B Good, M.I.T., Berklee School of Music, Fenway Park, Back Bay Fens.
Weather: Gorgeous. 40s.

A list of Food: Spinach and Lobster Dip, Jalepeno Calamari, Raw Oysters, Lobster, Clams, Mussels, Crab Cakes, Ahi Tuna, Shrimp Dumplings, Swordfish Skewers, Lobster Bisque, Teriyaki Chicken, Lobster Salad Roll, Jumbo Stuffed Shrimp, Beef and Cheese Ball, Boston Baked Beans, Boston Cream Pie, some 11 types of dessert at Finale. And clam chowder, clam chowder, and more clam chowder.

A list of Drink: Sam Adams Seasonal, Conundrum - White Wine, Bud, Rum and Coke, Irish Car Bombs, Lemon Drops, Patron, "Slime Shots."

I think I spent the perfect amount of time in Boston. I got to sample the best of the city without overstaying my welcome. I love the old brick of the buildings, the cobblestone streets, the brisk air, and friendly people, but most of all I love that you can walk the entire place in a few hours. It was very Londonesque (on a much smaller capacity).

I think it also gave me a little kick in the pants in life. There are a lot of small things I am going to try and appreciate more now. Reading...music...reading with music. It's all good.

A Walk in the Park

Yesterday I attended the Linkin Park concert at the Staples Center.

I have to admit I was pretty hesistant about going. For one, Linkin Park is about the eschelon of my limit for rock music. I am totally not into heavy metal or hard rock (as my penchant for Miley Cyrus may tell you). I was also scared of all of the devil worshipping freaks that might be there who would sense my fear and use me as their midnight sacrificial lamb.

Yeah, totally not that type of scene. Sure, there were one or two tattooed out people, but there were also kids running around the place too. I saw people from all over the place there, and there was only one thing they all had in common.

SHUT UP.

The place lit up when Linkin Park closed with "One Step Closer" after two encores. I've never seen so many people delighted from being to told to "SHUT UP" in my entire life.

I have to say that they were one of the best groups I've seen live, especially for rock. They sound immaculate, and unlike other rock concerts, Staples knows how to balance the right/left channel so that the singing isn't drowned out by the music. I barely listened to the new album before I went, but I ended up being able to sing along with about 80% of the show. This group has an insane amount of singles out.

Note: The drummer of the group is extremely cute. That definitely doesn't hurt.

Guitar Hero-ine

Damn I wished I learned how to play the guitar.

All those years I wasted learning how to play the trumpet poorly, could have been spent learning how to suck at the guitar instead. ...And that would have been much cooler.

I've always kind of wanted to learn it, but after realizing in my stupid Comm 1 class that the learning curve of an adult is only slightly higher than that of a Neanderthal I became apathetic pretty quickly.

But now I see all these damn girls who can play the guitar and I'm totally jealous!

Don't you want to be this!?



And by this, I mean hot and blonde as well.

Hell Has Frozen Over

OMFG.

I did it! I finished a book. And it only took me 8 days!

It wasn't a pop-up book either! 300+ pages!

I rule.

Ew.

You know that feeling you get when you find out that someone you dislike, likes something you really like?

Yeah, I'm having one of those moments.






And it's totally fucking gross.

Sick and Tired.

I swear to god I have the immunity system of a ninety year old. For the second time of the season, I am sick.

This couldn't come at a worse time since I am going to Boston at the end of the week. Sweet, sweet Boston that I have been looking forward to for a long ass time now. I'm sure the twenty degreee weather won't help matters, but come hell or high water I a determined to have a good time. Please god, don't let me lose my taste buds for the weekend.

My weekend once again was filled with good food. Man, the Ivy at the Shore was freaking deliciousness. I totally need to make 300K so I can eat like that all the time. Actually, 400K so I can pay for the coronary bypass that is sure to follow. We also got to see a celebrity at the place. Julia Louis-Dreyfus got into a fender bender right in front of us! Not the best way to see a celeb, but I'll take it.

Yesterday I went and saw the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds movie ...in 3-D. I already had a fondness for Miley for her teeny bopper music and love of ketchup, but after seeing the movie, I'm convinced she's got to be the next big thing. For starters:

1) She's only 15. (And not like 15 going on 16. Like barely turned 15 from 14.)
2) She writes her own music. (Co-wrote 8/10 songs on her "Miley" album.)
3) She plays the guitar. (She was teaching her dad a song, it was really cute.)

This is both exciting (at the prospect of talent at such a young age) and depressing (I suck at life so much) at the same time. I must say it was pretty embarassing buying tickets for the movie. First of all, it was $15 dollars. FIFTEEN!!! Sweet jesus, Disney, you freaking rapists. And then after we bought the tickets, we had to go up and ask for the 3-D glasses to which the pimply faced teen behind the counter chuckled and said "Jonas Brothers fan eh." I didn't bother correcting him, since I figured that being a "Jonas" fan might be slightly less embarassing than being a Hannah Montana fan. But, I was wrong. I have three words for those boys. Relaxed fit jeans. Male camel toe is so not hot.

Note: I think Miley and Zac Efron should date. That would be so freaking cute! He only has to wait 3 years to avoid the jail time.