Lies, I Tell You, All Lies!

So I was browsing FoodTV.com today, looking for recipes for the anticipation of all of the upcoming cooking I am going to be doing (yeah, right), and I stumble upon this delicious looking recipe for hash by Rachael Ray. In fact, it was from one of her four bajillion shows on the Food Network, 30 Minute Meals, perhaps the most famous of them all since it is catered towards the average person with little to no time for cooking on their hands.

Now I actually like Rachael Ray and think she's a brilliant entrepreneur, but I find the 30 Minute Meals thing to be kind of full of crap. First of all, it doesn't account for having all of the items on hand or the hideous aftermath of cleaning up and washing and drying all of the dishes. Not to mention, the average person does not chop at lightening quick pace (without losing their fingers), or have industrial stoves and ovens that are hotter than the center of the sun.

Soooooooo, I'm kind of a hater. And guess what I found on the website.

Cowboy Hash and Eggs, Texas Toast and Salsa
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes

Hmmmmm, regardless of being North Pole Campus, I'm pretty sure that if you add that up it equals to THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES.

35 minutes! NOT 30. Three. Five.

So, being the ass that I am, I continue browsing hoping to find another FALSE recipe to add to my pocket for ammunition, and no more than 3 minutes later do I find...

Turkey Sweet Potato Shepard's Pie and Cran-applesauce Sundaes
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Unless Rachael expects you to prep the food one night, starve your ass and fast for the deliciousness of tomorrow that is to come, the title of the show is OBVIOUSLY misleading. Plus, since when did an hour of cooking become easy. Nice try, Rachael. Nice try.

A while back a friend of mine and I were arguing over whether or not Rachael fakes the cooking on her show because the majority of her more complex dishes appear to require more than 30 minutes (Ok, even I can pack a picnic basket of pre-made food in half an hour). Like I said before, and I'll say it again...

The woman pulls out.