Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go

Get away from me Mr. Sandman!

He's been on my ass all day and I cannot for the life of me, shake him. I'm stuck in a perpetual stupor today, despite having a ridiculous amount of caffeine (3 cups of tea, and a large coffee). It's a miracle I'm not shaking like a salt shaker, instead I'm fighting the urge to just close my eyelids for a sweet second, really hard.

Maybe it's because I did not get to sleep in at all this weekend. On Saturday I woke up to get my car washed, prior to having brunch, and hauling ass to my haircut. Then I did the usual goofing around until 4am on a Saturday night.

Five hours later I met up with some people to find the elusive CA waterfall. On our travels, I ate shit on some unsteady dirt and basically scraped a 1/4 of my calf off. Since we had no first aid kit, I took Amanda's sage wisdom from She's the Man and rubbed some dirt in it. Then I caught a double feature before retiring around 1AM.

And now I'm a dead body.

Note: The Junk Punch revenge scheme is one of the funniest things I've ever heard of.

Sick and Tired.

I swear to god I have the immunity system of a ninety year old. For the second time of the season, I am sick.

This couldn't come at a worse time since I am going to Boston at the end of the week. Sweet, sweet Boston that I have been looking forward to for a long ass time now. I'm sure the twenty degreee weather won't help matters, but come hell or high water I a determined to have a good time. Please god, don't let me lose my taste buds for the weekend.

My weekend once again was filled with good food. Man, the Ivy at the Shore was freaking deliciousness. I totally need to make 300K so I can eat like that all the time. Actually, 400K so I can pay for the coronary bypass that is sure to follow. We also got to see a celebrity at the place. Julia Louis-Dreyfus got into a fender bender right in front of us! Not the best way to see a celeb, but I'll take it.

Yesterday I went and saw the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds movie ...in 3-D. I already had a fondness for Miley for her teeny bopper music and love of ketchup, but after seeing the movie, I'm convinced she's got to be the next big thing. For starters:

1) She's only 15. (And not like 15 going on 16. Like barely turned 15 from 14.)
2) She writes her own music. (Co-wrote 8/10 songs on her "Miley" album.)
3) She plays the guitar. (She was teaching her dad a song, it was really cute.)

This is both exciting (at the prospect of talent at such a young age) and depressing (I suck at life so much) at the same time. I must say it was pretty embarassing buying tickets for the movie. First of all, it was $15 dollars. FIFTEEN!!! Sweet jesus, Disney, you freaking rapists. And then after we bought the tickets, we had to go up and ask for the 3-D glasses to which the pimply faced teen behind the counter chuckled and said "Jonas Brothers fan eh." I didn't bother correcting him, since I figured that being a "Jonas" fan might be slightly less embarassing than being a Hannah Montana fan. But, I was wrong. I have three words for those boys. Relaxed fit jeans. Male camel toe is so not hot.

Note: I think Miley and Zac Efron should date. That would be so freaking cute! He only has to wait 3 years to avoid the jail time.

Ms. Krabappel.

Alksngfaslknganklangawktnaklgnasklngag.

Over the last couple of days I've been exhausted for some reason. I don't know if it's re-adjusting to the raw groove after 2 days of bliss or what but I've been feeling like a big bowl of crap soup.

Cold, non-cooked, gazpachoey crap soup.

I attribute a lot of this to no alcohol. I went to a work thing the other night, and was the only sober one in the room. Being in a room with a bunch of buzzed or drunk people is totally not fun unless you are one of them. Having to explain to them why you aren't one of them over and over again also isn't that great either.

Blah. I need a nap.

Ice Cream Sundae with a Turd on Top

I never fell into the whole Alicia Keys thing, but after last nights Grammy's performance I am a believer.

The remix she did with her hit (and massively overplayed) song "No One" was brilliant. Maybe it was the Gospel background, the Timbaland like backbeat, the bevvy of classical violins, or just the familiarity of a chord from U2's "With or Without You," but I was ready to scream "Sing it, Sister!" at the top of my lungs.

Then John Mayer stepped into the picture.

WHY...............WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY John Mayer. Why ruin something that was so damn near perfect with his down syndrome ass.

I actually don't really hate his music ("Your Body is a Wonderland" is too damn cute not to love), but John Mayer himself (or his public persona) totally grosses me out. Plus, he didn't even come out and really sing, he just played a guitar riff. ANYONE can play a guitar riff. Anyone but John Mayer.

Nevertheless, her performance is still pretty amazing (minus the fake piano playing in the middle of the song).

All's Well that Ends (Not) Well

Just my end though.

Last week, I went on my annual trip to Utah/Sundance (probably my favorite trip each year) for some snowboarding, movies, and general relaxation.

I came home with a broken bum.

Luckily, I had already gotten in 2.75 days of boarding in before this unfortunate incident happened. Basically I got screwed over after colliding into a skier while coming off a lift (said skier and his friend sandwiched me for an improper dismount). My ass hit the ice and apparently severely bruised my coccyx because I could barely move after it happened. I really didn't want to be carried down the mountain in a stretcher, so I used my arms and dragged my body off to the side where I died for 15 minutes. I managed to get down the mountain but stopped for the remainder of the day. It hurt like a bitch so I took the next day off, but that night there was a huge ass snow storm and we got 10 inches of fresh powder. I couldn't resist going out again, so I bought a lift ticket. Yeah............when I got there I couldn't even strap myself in.

You really don't realize how much your ass comes into play in your daily existence. It's basically a constant discomfort unless I lay on my face. Driving to work sucks, watching a movie sucks, and worst of all, bending over sucks. I was at Starbucks today and this woman dropped her sleeve on the floor right in front of me. Like RIGHT in front of me. We both gave each other a look and basically I could tell she expected me to pick it up for her. I bent over part way (died a lil) and had to get up again without the sleeve. And because I didn't want to say "I broke my ass," I basically made up something about back problems. Not fun.

Besides the broken ass though, Utah was fantastic. If I could go snowboarding (sans injuries) everyday I would. I love love love it. And maybe if I ever stop being anal retentive about my car, I will even buy my own board and boots. My movie foray was also much more successful this year than the last. I got to see two films, and I actually really liked both of them. George A. Romero's "Diary of the Dead" and Sean Ellis's "The Broken" - two snazzy horror movies totally worth checking out.

Ok, maybe I'm starting to feel a little of the vacation blues after all...

Multi-flasking

My new life, or lack thereof, requires me to be better at time management.

So, I've decided that I need to start setting goals or mini-deadlines for myself. The only problem with this is the actually keeping them part; and, since it's unlikely that I will, setting these things will probably just make me more stressed and frustrated than I was before. Boo.

I wish I were better at multi-tasking. Unfortunately, I'm the type that usually hones in on one thing and works on it with the blinders on. I can't even study and listen to music (with lyrics) at the same time, so it's doubtful that I will be able to balance my checkbook and watch TV. And yes, TV is definitely one of my tasks (my Tivo is exploding!!), though I wish they were all equally as delicious.

In addition, I have to constantly fight this unsettled feeling of wanting to party hardy. I guess it's normal since I'm in my early (omg, I'm going to wear that adj. out for the next 6 months) twenties and it's better now than 10 years down the line when it would be nearing inappropriateness (although with enough alcohol, it is forgivable). I just feel like you have the rest of your life to buckle down and be boring, so why not get your kicks in now when your body can most enjoy (or in some cases, handle) it. I'm sure I'm just rationalizing, but what the hell, it works for me.

Thus, on top of all of the pressure of my added duties (whether it be my own or others...zz.), I want to party like a rockstar. These conflicting feelings lead me to only one conclusion. Multi-flasking. It's the wave of the future.

Day of the LOCUSTS.

My head hurts.

When it rains it does indeed pour. After my summer of nothingness (didaly!), every day back at work is insanity. It's like the freaking Reaping is coming or something (and yet my project doesn't even open until July 2008!). I so can't wait to go to NY and not take any effin' phone calls. I got called 9 times in twenty minutes while trying to eat lunch today. To make matters worse, my stupid ass computer is on the fritz and keeps changing the meeting times of my work calendar. I think the push (in date) of the time change made everything go haywire. I'm about ready to blow my brains out.

Note: A phone is such a double edged sword. Sometimes, it must be nice to be Amish.

The Dog Ate My Homework

It's one of those days.

You would think that if you leave past 8:00AM traffic would get better since all the damn kiddies would have been dropped off to school by then. But no, the overpopulation that is our Earth continues to have its presence felt on the freeways, despite my crafty plan of being tardy to avoid it.

Being the diligent employee that I am, at 9:15AM I figure I might as well call in to work to check up on everything. Crap. I left my phone in my charger at home. Strike one.

After an hour and 30 minutes of being in the car, I finally stumble into work around 9:45AM (parked on the 5th floor!!!). Since I feel like shiite, I go over to our newly installed coffee kiosk to pick up some java when I realize that my wallet is missing. So, no coffee for me. Strike two.

Apparently, my wallet and phone decided to take the day off without telling my brain. This would normally be ok, except that I have photo class in LA tonight and have to pay for the $6 million dollars in parking somehow. I also attend with a co-worker and we rely heavily on our phones to sync up meeting with each other. Instead, I'll just be a huge loner with a parking ticket.

I was going to write a paragraph on how things usually come in threes and how I wanted to crawl into a hole for the rest of the day, but in between this post my sister calls me to tell me that my hamster just attempted to commit suicide. Apparently, she walked in to check on them this morning after I had left, and one of them was hanging in mid air (like with its neck alone stuck between the metal rungs). Luckily, it wasn't dead yet, even though it had shallow breathing, and she got a pair of pliars to free it. This is actually the second incident in the Bizarre Pet Chronicles as a few days ago one of my fish randomly disappeared. Naively, I just assumed that it died and that my mom or sister flushed it to fishie heaven. Yeah...not so much...which means that its dead rotting carcass is still out there somewhere either in the tank or on the floor.

Strike three, I'm out.

FOCKtober.

It's sad that 90% of my blog is bitching but I guess that's what blogs are really good for.

Thank god it's more than half over, because my October has been one giant piece of turd so far. The only thing sustaining me from a nervous breakdown right now (or going postal office on everyone) is the fact that I'm going to NY in a few weeks. It's going to be my first break since Europe and I really cannot wait to get the hell out of town...for four days =(. Hopefully the weather will be nice (aka brisk but no rain please!) so I can just wander around and take some pictures. Or sleep. Sleep is fine too.

I don't know why I feel so stressed out. It's like that moment in LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring where Bilbo (while zombied out by the presence of the ring) was like "I feel like butter over too much bread." My life just feels really choppy and disorganized and I feel like I'm always running next to the train trying to jump on but not quite making it.

To make matters worse, my back has been sore for like a month. I really think I'm getting posture problems like Heather from ANTM with the Ass Burger's. Maybe it's time for me to stop sleeping on the couch and get a new bed.

On the bright side, "Chuck" is on tonight! Thanks for making life a lil' less crappy for 42 minutes NBC.

Bonus lesson:

Today's list of stupidity revolves around the letter "E."

1) Evite.
2) Ebay.
3) Ecoli. (I mean who really likes E.coli anyway.)

Feeling like 2 of the 7 Dwarves...

Sleepy and Grumpy.

I think the world woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Everyone that I have talked to has been having a crappy day, and to make matters worse, it's also dragging like a mofo.

I totally made the mistake of taking two classes at the same time. Even though they are fun classes that I wanted to take, the two together plus 50-60 hours of work a week and 10 hours of familial slavery makes me a SAD PANDA. All I want to do right now is climb back under my awesome comforter (the burrito) and watch the 25 hours of TV that is sitting on my exploding Tivo.

BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAC! One year close to being rapable...